User blog:Kyogreswimming/A cringe review

Okay, so you know how a while back on the Fnaf wikia Gold made a post about his commentary on Kamen Rider?

WELL I'M GONNA DO IT WITH THE SHOW OF MY CHILDHOOD BEACAUSE I AM AN UNCREATIVE SLOB

​​So begins my commentary of Transform and Roll out of TFA.

(please note I am doig this from memory. Thankfully, I have a very good memory and have watched it recently.)

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 * Intro*

Sweet, Optimus has G1 on blu-ray

Yes Ratchet, go insult taht crap. Not like you guys will never se a decepticon.

N-no, Ratchet, don't use Mnenosurgery on him.

Bulkhead came in like a wrecking ball?

Hm, choppy- choppy.

Prowl; 10/10 team player.

HMMMMM I WONDER WHAT'S MAKING THIS GLOW?! *chops rock in half*

Hmmm Decepticons. Go eat your words, Ratchet.

Ratchet, how does a cube- incapable of moving- find you?

It's the tick!

Oh, Ultra Maggy, I'm supposed to believe that you somehow confused Megatron's titanic flagship for a SCOUT SHIP? You dun fucked up, Ultra.

Here is... THE NEMESIS! DUN DUN DUUNNNNN!

Hmm, Starscram is Ice King. I'LL GET YOU NEXT TIME FINN AND JAKE!

Jugnut totally isn't gay.

Hah! Dancing. This is why I like Blitzwing.


 * Megatron walks in* "QUICK EVERYBODY PRETEND TO BE BUSY!"

Oooh, Meggs left a dent.

How did Megatron not feel that bomb? Even when I was a kid I found that odd.

Megatron why are you flying backwards? Or are you flying upside-down?

Indeed, matinence laser can saw through Meggs. Okay.

Yeah, i'd think I would notice a beeping bomb by now.

Megatron really let himself go.

INTO THE SPACE BRIDGE!

God dammit, Starscream, stop monolouging!

Oh my god, Megatron just became a headmaster!

This man will totally not be important.

Quick guys, we're in danger, take a nap!

How did nobody notice this giant-ass ship in the bottom of lake Erie?

50 years pass.....

Look out! That cockroach absorbs things! FIRE ROCKETS AT IT!

THE BEGINNING OF ANNOYING HUMANS! Well Sari technically isn't human but still...

Oh noes, Prowl is gonna die!

The all-poweffull, life granting Allspark chose an 8-year-old. Where did we go so wrong?

CYBER KEY POWER!

Sari convinces everyone they're good.

Montage of doing good things!

Starscream's lair! DUN DUN DUUNNNN

Why does it look promising, Ice King?

Hmmm these Jet pilots aren't very smart.

The Mayor looks old. How long has he been in office?

Ice King is here to kick ass and take Princess Bubblegum... but he's all out of Princesses.

WHEEEEEEEE!

Oh noes Bumblebee is captured!

"But Megatron, the autobots can fly! I've sen it!"- Starscream on Prowl

I'MA FIRING MY LASER! BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

So... Optimus died for... less then two minutes. Okay.

Yaaay, we're heroes!

Yes, Isaac, don't tell teh Autobots you have Megatron's head in your room. Or that he's still online.

Let's take a moment to remember when Sumdac finds Meggs body in a later episode... "Yay! Now I can ressurect the most powerfull warmonger in the galaxy and endanger my planet to enslavement! GO ME!"

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Let's hope I never do this again. But god knows I will. I hate myself.