User blog:MettatonNeo44/Overwatch Games

Because I am a dirty copier, I'm running a hunger games simulation with Overwatch characters. More specifically, all but Zenyatta and Moira. Let us begin. Also because I fear it might get boring, I'm only covering the kills.

"Torbjorn unknowingly eats toxic berries."

.....Accurate.

"Symmetra poisons Mercy's drink, but mistakes it for her own and dies."

Pretty hard to tell things apart when you make them perfectly symmetric, Sym.

"Junkrat falls into a pit and dies."

Why didn't you use your landmine to get back out ;-;

"Winston accidentally steps on a landmine."

Oh, there it is.

"Sombra, Lucio, and Soldier: 76 start fighting, but Lucio runs away while Sombra kills Soldier: 76."

Lucio can run away, but Sombra's hacks keep Soldier from doing the same. Accurate.

"Ana, Lucio, and Widowmaker get into a fight. Lucio triumphantly kills them both."

What the Hell? Both have easy escape mechanisms, how?!

"Bastion severely injures Reinhardt and puts him out of his misery."

Soulless machine.

"Zarya falls into a frozen lake and drowns."

But you live in Russia. You should be used to cold weather.

"Orisa strangles Sombra with a rope."

Another soulless machine. Beautiful.

"Genji severely slices Hanzo with a sword."

Nano boost administered. Dragonblade, activate.

"Tracer silently snaps Bastion's neck."

But he's a robot, he don't have one that fleshy enough.

"Reaper kills Doomfist with a hatchet."

New position has opened as Leader of Talon. Opportunist.

"McCree bashes Roadhog's head against a rock several times."

But you were nerf buddies!

"Pharah kills D.Va while she tries to run."

I'm surprised someone didn't do that earlier. She doesn't have her mech.

"Orisa attacks Tracer, but Mercy protects her, killing Orisa."

Let's get you patched up.

"Tracer silently snaps Pharah's neck."

That her fetish or something? She's done it twice now.

"Mei kills Tracer with her own weapon."

Oh, so Mei snapped her neck?

"McCree convinces Lucio not to kill him, only to kill Lucio instead."

It's High Noon somewhere in the world.

"Mercy set an explosion off, killing Reaper."

That didn't work before, why is it working now?

"Mercy cannot handle the circumstances and commits suicide."

You're a pacifist, of course you wouldn't be able to when you just killed someone!

"McCree overpowers Mei, killing her."

But... but she was the only overpowered one left!

"Genji accidentally steps on a landmine."

I need healing?

"The winner is McCree."

I sense a buff in your future.